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I'm curious about a few things about myself. The only way to know yourself is to examine why you do things. So I'm curious about several things about myself.

Could I actually have the ability to absolutely damage my own relationships? The answer is yes. I have hurt several former relationships in my life. Some because, I knew I needed to get away from before I left any real damage behind. Others however, as they were going well, I always found a way to get out. Either I realized I was no longer attracted to them, or I needed something that they were not willing to give.

I don't mean physically, if that's what you were thinking, but I mean emotionally. No, that's not right. I required something from them that they were not able to give. I wanted more than anything else to believe that they could be the one, be able to give me everything I needed...but they can't. They can't give me anything that they didn't have. I required too much of them.

Now that I can see the problem....
I will let someone love me with everything that they have. I will let her give me what she can give, but I not settle for anything less than true love. She must love me with everything she has.

Is that enough? Is the woman I am to be with able to give me enough that I don't get bored? I can't believe I'm going to admit this, but people like me tend to get bored easily, and therefore we move on quickly. I move on quickly. I hate that about myself sometimes, because people who don't stimulate me don't even get a chance. I can figure out if I want to keep listening to someone speak after about a minute, and that's being gracious. I have very little patience with people that have nothing to say, or people that only say negative things. I am quickly attracted to potential dates, but even the most attractive ones never last longer than three months.

It is who I am. That special person that's meant to be in my life will be able to stimulate me and and keep me interested. I realize it's a tall order for any woman. However the woman that can do that, will receive more love and affection than she could handle. Anything she wants, as long as it's not another person in our bed, all she has to do is ask. I pray that I will be able to keep her interested as well. Who wants a boring life? Aren't we meant to live our lives to the fullest? Why can't we have a partner that enriches it so much more instead of just settling. So many couples settle for something they think is safe, I know, I was one of them. However, I look at my brother's marriage and realize that there is a way to get the best marriage possible. They are never dull...ever! They say stuff that is sometimes um...interesting...but they can also make everyone roll with laughter, mostly themselves. They are great to be around. I want a marriage like that, never boring, always interesting. I pray for someone like that.

Yes, I pray for her. I'm going to shut up now.

But this is my blog, who said you had to read it.

What am I saying?

I'll start with a prayer. Lord, please give the words to speak and help me to remember why I started typing in the first place. Amen.

I wanted to discuss the idea of creation. I want to discuss how one possible explanation to life, the universe, and everything is Intelligent Design. Many scientists believe that the more man finds out about how the universe was created, the more we see that God does not and can not exist. Isn't there more to us than matter and energy? Doesn't the simple explanation of "the universe started to create itself through a very slow process of dirt getting stuck together and then getting stuck to more dirt to create a planet eventually" not explain what started the dirt to stick together in the first place?

How about the creation of man? According to Darwinism, we evolved from the ape. Where did the ape come from? The "primordial ooze" that created life on earth by evolving and replicating, does not explain to me how it decided that one day it was going to become an ape. I have seen animals produce the same animals as man produces man, but I have never seen man produce animals. I understand the thought of cross-breeding. Dogs can only breed with other dogs, and cats breed with other cats, but I have never seen a dog mate with a cat and produce offspring. So how did the ooze break off from itself and change into an ape? Bacteria can only produce bacteria. How can you tell me there is no God, when you can't tell me how the ooze decided it was going to become an ape? Wouldn't the ooze need intelligence to decide that? Who or what gave the ooze that intelligence?

It is obvious that nothing simply has intelligence to make a decision right from the start. The ability to make decisions is learned. There are instincts, but even those are learned. For example, the instinct of hunting. What taught us that we need to kill for our food? The instinct to hunt comes from our body saying it is hungry, but you cant tell me that we instantly knew how to catch and kill prey. We learned over time through the intelligence given to us by our Creator to make traps, and form sharp sticks to kill our prey so that we may eat. Who or what gave humans the intelligence to adapt? Stick a newborn baby into a forest and it will die. It lacks the ability and intelligence to help itself. However, if you stick a matured human who was given the intelligence to adapt, yet has absolutely no survival training into the forest, he will somehow find a way to gather food, build a shelter, and survive in the new habitat. The intelligence to adapt was given to us by God. He taught us how to hunt and provide for our needs.

So again I ask, what made the ooze decide that it could become an ape? It didn't. We don't come from ooze or apes. Every creature on this earth was made with an intelligent design behind it. Everything was created by God with a certain image in mind. Humans just got lucky enough to be given the image of God. I strongly believe that God created man by simply taking dirt into his hands, molding it into a human and breathing life into it. If you look at what we're made of, like carbon, you will find everything of our composition in the dirt. God designed our body to do everything it does today with a purpose. As scientists can explain the how we are made, no one but God can explain the why. Science does not get rid of God, science only proves further that God exists.