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I'm curious about a few things about myself. The only way to know yourself is to examine why you do things. So I'm curious about several things about myself.

Could I actually have the ability to absolutely damage my own relationships? The answer is yes. I have hurt several former relationships in my life. Some because, I knew I needed to get away from before I left any real damage behind. Others however, as they were going well, I always found a way to get out. Either I realized I was no longer attracted to them, or I needed something that they were not willing to give.

I don't mean physically, if that's what you were thinking, but I mean emotionally. No, that's not right. I required something from them that they were not able to give. I wanted more than anything else to believe that they could be the one, be able to give me everything I needed...but they can't. They can't give me anything that they didn't have. I required too much of them.

Now that I can see the problem....
I will let someone love me with everything that they have. I will let her give me what she can give, but I not settle for anything less than true love. She must love me with everything she has.

Is that enough? Is the woman I am to be with able to give me enough that I don't get bored? I can't believe I'm going to admit this, but people like me tend to get bored easily, and therefore we move on quickly. I move on quickly. I hate that about myself sometimes, because people who don't stimulate me don't even get a chance. I can figure out if I want to keep listening to someone speak after about a minute, and that's being gracious. I have very little patience with people that have nothing to say, or people that only say negative things. I am quickly attracted to potential dates, but even the most attractive ones never last longer than three months.

It is who I am. That special person that's meant to be in my life will be able to stimulate me and and keep me interested. I realize it's a tall order for any woman. However the woman that can do that, will receive more love and affection than she could handle. Anything she wants, as long as it's not another person in our bed, all she has to do is ask. I pray that I will be able to keep her interested as well. Who wants a boring life? Aren't we meant to live our lives to the fullest? Why can't we have a partner that enriches it so much more instead of just settling. So many couples settle for something they think is safe, I know, I was one of them. However, I look at my brother's marriage and realize that there is a way to get the best marriage possible. They are never dull...ever! They say stuff that is sometimes um...interesting...but they can also make everyone roll with laughter, mostly themselves. They are great to be around. I want a marriage like that, never boring, always interesting. I pray for someone like that.

Yes, I pray for her. I'm going to shut up now.

But this is my blog, who said you had to read it.